I used to think that I was special,
That my life was created to do something essential,
I believed that maybe I could act,
And life would be better because of it,
But lately all I feel as though that spark that once shined so bright has faded,
And it has been worn down and degraded.
I used to get on my knees everyday and pray,
Pray to God to guide my life ,
Because life back then was hard,
But as I grew up in moved from praying on my knees to praying in my blankets,
Just because of sheer laziness at first,
But I slowly I realised that I didn't believe in it at all,
How could my life be planned by someone else?
Because everything that I once considered important,
Became useless at best,
All the achievements and accolades that once gave me a sense of accomplishment lost their meaning.
Maybe I have finally reached the starting point of the end,
As I can already see myself taking pills to slow down my descension,
To stress induced depression
And lets not forget to add anxiety because its a two for the price of one special,
I can actually take comfort in knowing what comes next,
Because for once I how it all ends.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash