Confession to the girl I still love

I miss you unlike I miss most, not like peanut butter and toast, I miss your beautiful smile with a wretchedness, of my once lovely temptress, but things have changed , and time has flown like a careless whisper, where at night I have become a worthless weeper, of my past mistakes and regrets , where I wish I had acted differently, and not immediately but now all I care do is be left with past memories, of a love so forgotten, that even the memories are becoming rotten, And in all fairness it was my fault, for in a moment had I halt, this could have been a better love story, but at this stage all I can say is that I am sorry, sorry for not only what I did but also for what I didnt do, but always meant to, but in this moment in time my tears seem to be flowing, and your face seems to be fading and no longer glowing, I remember the first day that we met, the wind wind felt so cold and wet, teasing a sensation of what was to come, and then some, we started of as unlikely counterparts, but as time progressed we grew to love each others different parts, love took its toll, and we went to parks, in the grass where we would tumble and roll, where life seemed to stand still just for the two of us, as we watched the sun pass, And the highlight of my day was when I gazed directly into your eyes, and I felt disconnected to all worldly ties, and the only thing I could think of is that you were mine, a perfect ten not a mere nine, But I guess reality finally set in, but even up until now I dont know were to begin, begin to explain how it all went wrong, all I can think about is the silly arguments, the nights were each of us went to bed with a frown on our faces, waiting and hoping that next argument we would have ready our aces, or the fights that ended with flying flower vases. And as I lay in bed thinking, About how my heart is broken and sinking, Thinking of what could have been, But after all the things that I have seen, I can't help but wonder if it's what I truly deserve, Or if justice hasn't been truly served, When I started I tried to be the good guy, But even then I knew that I was doomed to die, Even though in the beginning I tried to evolve, So that all my problems I could solve, But as it seems I traded in my heart, For a small part of you every night, And even today as I think of it all seems worth it, She was worth every little bit. I remember when we were sitting on a pier at night, Without no one in sight, And with the moon to keep us company, We would hold hands, Talking about where one day our futures would land, And how we would overcome everything and anything that would come, And protect our child that would one day call you mum, I remember us laughing about which would be better if the child was a he or she, And you said we would be blessed if it looked like me, And I remember blushing, And then we would continue cuddling, As we sat there for hours doing nothing, Doing some very necessary mouthing, And life stood still, How I remember amazing it would feel. On some nights we would talk on the phone for hours on end, How life felt so grand, I remember how we couldn't wait to be in each other's warm embrace, But now that love has disappeared without a trace, I remember how I used to tell everyone that this is the girl I would marry, Because for the rest of my life her heart I would carry, And everything about our lives would be fine, For you would always be mine. But all that for you seems like a big blurr, And maybe you no longer care, But I remember ,which isn't fair, But I don't dare, Dare to forget the memories under the stars, Star gazing and looking at Mars, And me dropping romantic bars, I remember how beautiful your eyes lit up the night, And how the gave me courage to fight, To fight with all my might, For you,so that it would always be us two, And as memories come and go, I still yearn for your soul, Even if that isn't your life goal, I guess all I'm trying to say is that even after all these years, After countless nightmares, I'm still the one that cares, And if the gods be willing , Let them grant me the feeling, To once be by your side , And into the sunset we will ride, With great stride, And sail in the oceans against the tide. I want you to know that I still love you, Because you are my woman, My Superwoman, And I need you back, So as you read this poem , I need you to know, That I still love you, And I still want to be with you, And even after five hard years, I still dream of you coming down the stairs, The same way you did when we went on our first date, And I instantly knew that you were my soulmate, So as I get on one knee, I hope my love you can still see, Still see in my eyes, That the flame for you still burns, And that for your touch,my soul still yearns, So what do you say ?, Will you make me the happiest man alive And be my wife, My one true love for life?