Suicide, a cry for help,

A cry for help that most do not hear,

A cry for help that most men fear,

Suicide, a topic that many seem to romanticize,

Something that some people use as excuse to dramatize,

Dramatize their actions,

But in the midst of it all its a cry for help,

From a soul that is gasping for air,

A soul that has been dealt a hard deck by life.

In recent years this has been a topic that has become near and dear to me,

Not just because of the sympathy that I feel for those I chose to go through with it,

But because I understand why they did it,

I imagine that they must have felt trapped,

With no way out,

And with no-one to tell them that its gonna be okay,

I imagine that they must have felt as if they were staring at the barrel of the gun,

Only to turn that nightmare into a reality,

I wish that I could have helped some of them ,maybe a random act of kindness would have made a difference,

And I could have preserved their innocence,

I wish that they could have shared their story,

And let them know that I too once considered it,

Countless times imagining what I would feel like to just slit my wrists in the bathtub just like in the movies,

Slit the cords giving me life and let myself go gentle into that good night.

Or tell them the real reason I'm afraid of heights,

Which is I'm not, but I'm afraid that I want to jump because on some days,

No, on most days I feel as though I'm on the edge,

And at any point in time I could slip off the ledge,

Because I feel a certain type of loneliness that haunts me day and night,

A loneliness that makes want to run away from everyone and everything,

A loneliness that holds me tightly in a room filled with people,

And that's when the idea suddenly creeps in,

The idea of just ending it all,

The idea of just living this earthly body and onto the next plane,

And I know that to some that that idea seems insane,

But when you feel what I feel ,

At times it seems like there is no light at end of tunnel.

But alas I could go on and on ,

But the truth is simple that it's hard,

And the alternative seems easier because you think that anywhere is better than here,

And the truth is that maybe it is,

But maybe lets just try to hold on a little bit longer,

If you stay, I will stay

And if it gets hard I will be there for you and you can be there for me,

And if you cry,

I will cry with you too,

Because I know this cry for help,

Because I also cry for the same,

So lets move away from the edge and lets talk,

I cant promise you that tomorrow will be better but I can promise you that there will be a a tomorrow,

So don't lose hope,

And let me teach you how to cope,

Life hurts,

But we shouldn't hurt with it.

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash