I miss the days when I could talk what was on my mind,
Not just about my life or future grind,
But of simple things like dreams,
Dreams of joy, love and peace,
That gave a shot of release,
Where I couldn't wait to get home and into bed,
Where I wouldn't have to cry myself to sleep,
And not make a sound or a beep,
Where dreamland was a daily gift,
But the times have changed so swift,
And now every entry is a shiver down my spine,
And life has become a living nightmare.
Life seems dark at times,
And things are too hard to swallow,
And I feel as if my head has been chopped off at the gallows,
But I soldier on,
Even though I can't go on,
Because someone depends on me,
So, I pick myself up and move,
Because I have something to prove,
But life kicks me down,
And when I frown everyone laughs at me like a clown,
But just like toy soldiers, step by step,
I follow the map,
The so-called map of life,
Even if it leaves me with hunger and strife,
And that's only before it cuts me with a merciless knife.
Today I am constantly thinking,
If everyone else's words have meaning,
And I constantly self-doubt,
But day by day my conviction is growing,
And the seeds that I have been sowing,
Are now showing,
And my soul is now glowing,
But yet I still worry,
If I'm moving in such a hurry,
That I'm missing something or maybe that something bad is coming,
And soon I will have to make haste and start running,
Or maybe that's just my wet dream reality thinking,
Feeling that something feels too good to be true,
That, great things are about to ensue,
But at the same time,
At the back of my spine,
Something is coming to mess everything up,
Only for me to wake up with disappointment and embarrassment,
Mixed with a lot of resentment,
Because of my actions,
Or worse my normal reaction,
Reaction to the accumulation of pressure and feeling,
Yearning for a release.
So yes, I finally understand this is my wet dream reality thinking.
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